The permission slip nobody gave you (so here it is)

Fake rest : “pottering” | doing busywork or admin in your downtime |  doomscrolling while watching Netflix and talking to your partner | hoovering the house rather than actually relaxing

You know this “personality type”* (*not really a personality type) well I’m sure – most of us either are one or know one (or five … or ten).

If you’ve been around here a while you’ll likely know that I talk about rest a lot – and that I openly regularly struggle to fully press pause.

I’ve become so much better since becoming a mum. I value relaxing for hours with my kindle, the (occasional glimpses of) quiet, and stepping into my gardening era.

I’ve been going through something personal the last few months, and it has seen me uplevel this rest game a whole lot more. Let me tell you guys, I have spent 7 weeks binge watching Scrubs, reading, breathing and napping like an absolute pro. I mean, I have 99% been horizontal on the sofa when I’ve not been teaching. And it has been wonderful. 

There are also literal dust bunnies upstairs, our living room floor is greige not white and I haven’t posted on social media for a LONG time, but for the first time in my life I’ve shrugged and said “I’ll catch up with it all when I can” and been genuinely ok with it.

I often coach clients to try and go at 70% more often – whether it’s effort in their yoga practice (especially if they’re overachievers), their perceived standards of what’s “good enough” or trying to juggle everything without missing a beat. But honestly – when was the last time you put in 10%? This is possibly the most unproductive I’ve ever been in my whole life, and it’s been a true joy.

The fact is, we can avoid stopping for as long as we can, ignoring the stress building and the exhaustion creeping in. We can pretend that if we just keep busy everything will be ok, because that gives us an illusion of control when things are feeling anything but under control. But – truth bomb – this road doesn’t lead anywhere but burnout.

So if you are reading this and resonating with the busywork vibes, let me hand you a little permission slip. Chances are that you are really good at ignoring that little voice inside that’s telling you that thing are not ok.  

Here is an invitation to drop a few percentage points in effort. Drop a ball temporarily, knowing that you can pick it up later. Turn off your phone and let your brain singletask for a while. Lie down on the sofa for 5 minutes with zero distractions. Or – and I know this can feel like a tough one for many of us – let someone hold space for you and your mess.

The reality is, nobody except you can gift you this. The people in your life may suggest you need more rest, even clear space so that you can, but it is you who needs to do the work to feel able to actually stop. And babe, I promise it really is safe to stop. Even if it’s just for 5 minutes, no distractions so put your phone down. It might be exactly what you’ve been needing.