Work/life balance, being constantly productive, and “having it all” are myths that I just don’t have time for these days (literally). And don’t get me started on the guilt and pressures that it can instil.

Here’s what I have learned over the past few years that have seriously changed my life and allowed me to lean in to what really matters to me, guilt free.

Just like nature – and our cycles if you have a womb – life also has its own distinct phases or seasons. Understanding this concept really helped me understand that our output and our lives are not linear.

There will be parts of your life that feel slower or harder than others. Times when you need to retreat and contract more than others. There are chapters where your growth feels limitless, and others when you have to put everything on hold for something else. Remembering that everything is a phase (fellow parents of toddlers will already use this mantra as a lifeline) can help you make peace with this concept.

Here’s a breakdown of the seasons.

Just like in nature, winter is when we go quiet. It may look like not much is going on to an outsider, but this is where so much is going on internally. This could be hardship, it could be healing (often both). It may include stepping back, eg temporarily stepping back from climbing that career ladder, pausing your responsibilities to look after a loved one, or healing from illness or trauma.

Winter can feel hard and you may miss your summer self – and it is a portal that you get to move through to emerge the other side. Winter is just as essential as summer.

Summer is when every part of your life is taking off. Your business growth curve is nearly vertical, your relationship and social life are rocking, you have tons of energy and everything feels easy and effortless.

The gradual re-emergence, or the slowing down and retreating.

Spring is where we start preparing for summer; where you may notice your energy and creativity returning and where you put things in place so you can expand into new roles and rituals.

Conversely, in autumn you may want to start investing in support; talk therapy, massage, energy work, coaches, carers, cleaners, childcare gardeners etc – whoever you need on your team to help you through quieter tougher seasons

There will be times of your life when you aren’t killin’ it in every arena (although is it just me or is the hustle era long over now)?

When you have severe time or energy constraints, you may have to let some friendships go so you can nurture the ones that matter the most.

If you’re a business owner you may reduce the number of launches or step back from particular responsibilities during winter. On the flip side, you may want to go all in and harness your creativity and energy when you’re in a summer phase.

Rather than burning it all down, winter may be an opportunity to reevaluate what you’re doing, and how, so that you feel better supported.

In the past 8-9 months I’ve felt myself come out of a very long winter – 2.5 years of losing myself in motherhood and abandoning my self care. I chose to temporarily let go of parts of my life that really matter to me so that I could prioritise others (that I also love).

It took me almost 2 years to actually accept I had to let go (the universe giving me not-so-gentle nudges along the way) and I do wonder if it would have been a shorter winter if I’d surrendered sooner. That said, it was definitely the season I needed.

My winter helped me reassess what really matters to me, and how to intentionally build a life and business that deeply support and represent my values.

It felt like a very long freefall / dark night of the soul at times, but now I am coming out the other side I can really see the value of this season. I really am a different person, with more wisdom and resilience and an even stronger sense of self.

The truth is, we need it all. We can’t be in perpetual spring/summer – we are cyclical beings just like everything else in nature. Resting, retreating and reassessing is part of growth too, even if it’s not so obvious on the outside.

Stop trying to constantly balance the many, many plates that we all spin (because it’s not just work/life, is it?). Instead, view life from this seasonal lens. Acknowledge the season of life you are in just now, and choose your priorities. This awareness means that we can choose which plates we spin and what we can safely let go of in different phases of our lives. Focus on your priorities, knowing that these will shift and other things can be picked up again when life allows.

I’ll soon be releasing a whole new way to work with me. Whatever season of life you’re in, if you are looking for support with stress/burnout, regulating your nervous system or adjusting your lifestyle so that you actually have space for you then you NEED to be on my waitlist and be the first to hear. Sign up below.